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Old October 26 2009, 05:05 AM   #54
thew40
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Re: Treking through all Star Trek

Series: Enterprise - Season One
Episode: “Desert Crossing”
Trek Installment # 23
Grade: F
Viewing Date: September 30, 2009

Enterprise writing room transcript:
“So . . . who remembers Shuttlepod One?
“I do. Pretty good episode. What about it?”
“How about doing a version that focuses on Archer and Trip?”
“Uh . . . okay. But how is it going be different?”
“Well, let’s see. Since Trip and Reed almost froze to death, how about we do the opposite? Have Archer and Trip almost die in, say, a desert?”
“Why would they be in a desert?”
“Hmm. Let’s just do some sort vague story about a terrorist maybe being a good guy and make him kinda loveable and big and fat. Kinda middle-eastern, but he should sound kinda Russian.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. What is he going to look like?”
“Meh, let’s just throw some paint on his chin. And for sex appeal -- ”
“SEX APPEAL?!”
“- let’s have Archer and Trip jump around with more of these aliens shirtless.”
“Okay, well, I think we need to focus on the characterization aspect of this episode. So Archer and Trip are in the desert . . . why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they’re trying to get away from the nice guy terrorist? They grab some water packs from the Shuttlepod and - ”
“Why don’t they just stay in the Shuttlepod?”
“Because the village will be under attack!”
“They can’t dodge the weapons? After everything, they can’t avoid one ground-level weapon launcher? Really?”
“Yeah, well, maybe they just don’t feel like it.”
“UGH. So they go into the desert?”
“Right. And Trip can get sun stroke.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah. He can maybe say some stupid and funny things. And Archer can keep him awake and be all BFF with him.”
“But that doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t Archer have sunstroke? And why are they in the desert again?”
“To find shelter.”
“How does it end?”
“Well, I guess we can have some convenient story point about a gap in the alien’s sensor grid that only our terrorist can pilot through.”
“This is really stupid . . .”
“Oh, and try and cram in a message about the Prime Directive, will you?”
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Treking Through All Star Trek
Watching all Star Trek in chronological order
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