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Old August 7 2009, 09:01 AM   #58
Thrall
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Re: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

I take back everything I ever said about it. It was fucking awesome. Easily the best action movie of the year. I didn't think Stephen Sommers had it in him to direct a good movie. I guess everyone gets lucky once in a while.

THE GOOD:

-Snake Eyes pwns this movie. Forget Darth Maul. Ray Park chews scenery without ever speaking a word.

-The action is just non-stop awesomeness. It's over-the-top, without being stupid or completely aimless. There's just too many "HOLY SHIT" moments to count. And the plot is pretty damn good too. The Ninja fights are just amazing.

-The casting and acting are great. Siena Miller and Rachel Nichols are jaw droppingly hot. Duke is the perfect Army guy. And Marlon Wayans manages to somehow not ruin this movie. Too bad Dennis Quaid didn't have more to do though.

-I admit the Iron Man suits work. They work because it's not all about the suits. They're just a small part of a larger picture of the type of tech The Joe's use.

-I like The Duke/Baroness pairing. It's got a Batman/Catwoman or Daredevil/Elektra vibe to it. Lots of angst, which seems to be the popular theme nowadays.

-The international theme works as well. It makes sense that they would need more then one country to fund all their marvelous toys.

-BRENDAN FRAISER AS MUTHAFUCKIN' FLINT!!

-The Pit is like the coolest homebase ever. Screw The X-Mansion.

THE BAD:

-Too many flashbacks IMO

-I like my Baroness evil. I didn't like the brainwashing theme and good guy turn at the end. I kept waiting for her to betray Duke at the end and was saddened that it didn't happen. Having her get away would have given Duke more reason to stay on and keep fighting.

-The Destro and Cobra Commander origin was a bit much IMO. It was like the one super-cheese ball/Typical Steven Sommers moment in the movie. Still better then Darth Vader's "NOOOOOOO!!" though.

-Not a fan of Ripcord/Scarlet. Scarlet should either be with Snake Eyes or Duke. No exceptions.

-No Eurotrash accent from The Baroness?

-Cobra Commanders secret identity was painfully predictable.

-Not a good start for CC as leader by getting captured right after he has his big Villain Origin moment. Then again, it's par for the course for the cartoon version.

THE UGLY:

-I still hate CC's redesign. But it's barely there, so it's not as annoying. I hope for the sequel they give him his classic look.
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