Count Zero wrote:
One suggestion-given the title, perhaps develop the threat of the rain a bit more, for while it sits in the background in a menacing manner it never really reaches a tangible threat. Sure, the cop gets wet but that's it. No health problems or weird reactions, y'know? Still a very good job and your writing is virtually seamless.
Thanks for the high praise.
Yeah, I couldn't come up with a creative title, so I went the Blake's 7 one-word route. (The Blake's 7 writers were of course more ingenious with that.)
As for the danger of the rain, well, that's sort of the point. People are paranoid about it, and maybe it was dangerous once but this time the semi-fascist government actually told the truth. It doesn't pose a health risk. But I chose not to concentrate on that since the important thing is Tyler's realisation.
Perhaps you should have concentrated on that.