Praetor, I really like this project and am looking forward to the end result.
The only suggestions I have are to:
1) Lighten up on poor Styles. It doesn't seem proper for the writers of a tech manual to be criticizing a Captain's career. But, to account for his disappearance and Sulu's commission of the ship... perhaps Styles was killed by way of an accident related to the transwarp failure, leading to the project being shut down?
2) Trim down the Ambassador and Galaxy stuff. This ain't their tech manual
Sorry if someone's mentioned these things already, I more or less skimmed past most people's posts besides yours.
Edit: One more suggestion... I'd replace the 'federation news service' as just a general press corps. The press shouldn't be entwined with government in a free society.