1) I wish I was closer to Chicago. Portillos sounds awesome.
2) I only ever get hit on by gay guys. It's annoying.
Come visit. We'll get Portillos and I'll introduce you to some girls.
Do you know girls?! That are single?! And aren't total white trash ho-bags?!
Those are really my only requirements at this point. You'd think they wouldn't be that hard to find!