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Old July 8 2009, 01:44 AM   #2083
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Location: Ireland
Re: A Hater Revisits Voyager

Warhead (**)

Kim gets to be captain for a few hours and the first thing he does is bring a bomb onboard so that he can get revenge on this crew that is constantly being condescending towards him. It turns out that the bomb thinks it is a person and it is very upset to learn that it is a bomb because it will no longer be able to taste the delicious flavours of Walkers crisps. Then the bomb takes over Doctor Shmully, but when it realises that it is in a holographic body and still cannot eat the sublime new Walkers Builder's Breakfast flavour crisps it throws a strop and starts shouting a lot. This is annoying.

Janeway is a very traditional captain so she likes Walkers Ready Salted flavour, and she is also not willing to give in to the demands of a talking bomb. Captain Kirk (who adored Walkers Smokey Bacon) would have just talked the bomb to death with a logical paradox, but Janeway only skimmed TOS when it was on TV and can only remember parts of that episode with the furry things. However, Kim (Walkers Prawn Cocktail) is a bit of a lonely nerd so has every episode of TOS stored twice on his computer, in both production and air-date order. He remembered that you are supposed to talk a bomb to death and not waste time on some technobabble solution to the problem, so he reasons with the bomb and it agrees to kill itself and its whole race.

I don't normally give out points for trying, but part of the agreement with my new sponsors (Walkers crisps) is that I must try to be more positive towards the episodes.
__________________ many different suns...

"No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away." - The immortal Terry Pratchett

Last edited by TheGodBen; July 8 2009 at 02:11 AM.
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