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Old May 7 2009, 10:05 PM   #303
Candlelight's Avatar
Location: New Zealand
A review from a Kiwi perspective (spoilers aplenty so watch your step)

Right. Canon gets majorly fucked over so if you are a huge die hard fan of the original series then don't go. Seriously. You will be bitching all the way through.

Well possibly.

The opening sequence is full on and deadly. Reminiscent of the pilot episode of DS9. Nero isn't the charismatic villain and it's a great change of pace. The production design leaves something to be desired as it's clear they use a brewery or factory to film the engineering scenes. And if they didn't it's a piss-poor job at being "futuristic".

You know people are gonna cark it so it does lose the tension unfortunately, but the action is well shot despite very shaky camera work and constant lens flares. Jennifer Morrison hardly has any screen time which is sad as I like her in House, but what she does do is pretty good.

Jumping ahead, sadly the shot from the trailer of Baby-Spock isn't here (neither is any shot from the teaser trailer) but Spock-Junior getting into a fight with "Vulcan bullies" was pretty funny. Chris Pine does a good job, but he's no Kirk. Karl Urban (who stole the show in my completely Kiwi-biased opinion) was believeable as McCoy, Quinto was outstanding as Spock and Chekov was great as Chekov. Yeah sorry, forgot his name. The rest didn't really shine for me. Scotty is in it for ten minutes. Boo. I'm a Simon Pegg fan and I really wished he'd been in it more, although clearly he was being reserved for the comic relief.

Well, anyone not named Spock and Kirk were comic relief. Uhura is horribly miscast. Brought in for the beauty but nothing like the elegance of Nichelle Nichols, which the role really screamed out for. Rachel Nichols has lovely boobies though, which you all see about 40' in.

Oh and Bruce Greenwood is great as always. He's been typecast as the leader-figure-who-gets-munted but he is very good. Pity he's not in it for more, but as always it's the sexy 20-somethings that we have to follow.

Engineer Olson, the movie's only true redshirt, is wearing a redshirt. Loved it.

More shaky camera and lens flares later, and we get to the biggest canon-fuck to date - Vulcan. Wheen you watch it's a shock, really is. You know it's coming but it still hurts. Enterprise (complete with the aforementioned brewery) is now the only ship in the quadrant and suddenly the flagship is taken over by cadets for some reason (where are all the officers, it's the maiden voyage for feck's sake) but luckily we aren't talking about DS9's "Valiant" here, so all is good.

The movie then loses it's way a little bit, Kirk gets thrown off the ship to an ice planet which is apparently closer to Vulcan than we are to our moon. A couple of CGI monsters later and we finally get to see Old-Spice, er Spock. I have to say, as great as it is to see him, he really wasn't necessary. He didn't need to come back and explain everything (although the date he gives for the destruction of Romulus - assuming the Enterprise is still launched in 2245 - puts it slap bang in the middle of Voyager's 4th/DS9's 6th season/Insurrection, and clearly Romulus is still around by the time Nemesis appears). But then, this is JJ, so the rule book is out the window. He does have a great voice. Still sends a chill through your spine when he speaks.

The climax is alright but still the same old "gotta get on the alien ship and stop the bad guy complete with fist fight etc". Why only Spock was able to knock out the drill is anyone's guess. I seem to recall a fleet of shuttle's on Earth which *could* have been armed with phasers...?

The ending does leave a 'yeah we reset everything so get used to it' feel to it, and it doesn't matter. Put your brain in neutral, leave the canon book in the glove box, "buckle up" and enjoy.

Not everyone will enjoy this. Really, take everything with a grain of salt. Things don't work as they used to. Some things are frustrating (what Uhura does to Spock on the transporter pad made everyone's jaw drop in the cinema) and some stuff has too much humour (the hands scene - you'll know it when you see it - is funny at the time but leaves a funny taste in your mouth afterwards).

7/10. I would see it again, but will probably wait for DVD.
"I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six."

Last edited by Candlelight; May 7 2009 at 10:27 PM.
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