Thanks for your comments so far, it's nice to know that some one's taking an interest!
This is my first real attempt at fan fic, so any constructive criticism is greatly received.
I'd certainly appreciate it, Xeris
, if you could point out what parts strain credulity. Whilst I've got a general idea of the plot I'm also winging a lot of it, so I should imagine that a lot of stuff that makes sense in my head might need a bit more explanation when written down.
The same goes for any oddities or oversights.