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Old April 30 2009, 01:43 AM   #218
kitsune
Captain
 
Location: USS Lollipop
Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor wrote: View Post
The Excelsiorís design drew upon the now traditional
insert a hyphen: now-traditional

Praetor wrote: View Post
Each sub-assembly was constructed separately and then assembled in drydock
assembled -> mated ? It sounds funny to have "assembl*" twice in the same sentence. Also, mated seems to be the more appropriate term here.

Praetor wrote: View Post
A block-like section extending aft

Praetor wrote: View Post
It is roughly cigar-shaped
Hmm. Maybe cylindrical would be better here. Smoking implements don't seem very common in the 23rd and 24th centuries, with the exception of Data's pipe...

Praetor wrote: View Post
Mainly a hollow structure,
Sorry. I retract Mainly and suggest A mostly-hollow structure,

Praetor wrote: View Post
the entire unit may be jettisoned from the remainder of the ship in an emergency.
Hopefully it can be jettisoned upward fast enough that it won't ram the saucer section.

Praetor wrote: View Post
Excelsior is equipped with an extensive suite of all modern sensor modules.
modules -> palettes?

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flight tests proved that the large crystal tended to easily overload
flight tests indicated that a single large crystal was prone to develop[ing] potentially dangerous [micro-]fractures under high load

Praetor wrote: View Post
designed to be easily swappable
easily replaced


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these massive arms were programmed to automatically grab and securely hold the seatís occupant
In Star Trek III, didn't the occupants manually position the arms?

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three dedicated science statsions
stations

Praetor wrote: View Post
A small table has been provided
was installed

This may have been due to Sulu's personal request, too. After all, he likes to sip tea on the bridge... I doubt it appeared on all the Excelsior bridges.

Praetor wrote: View Post
The Captain may also use the room as a ready room if so desired to relax when key situations require his proximity to the bridge.
I'd remove key

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It features the centrally located
centrally-located

Praetor wrote: View Post
Aft, the main stairwell top is found.
The top of the main stairwell is located aft.

Praetor wrote: View Post
The stairwell provides easy access to the shipís main decks in the event of an emergency.
The stairwell provides auxiliary access to all the ship's decks in the event of a turbolift system failure or emergency evacuation.

Praetor wrote: View Post
ambassadors and their wives or husbands
ambassadors and their spouses

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The A/G can also use part of the impulse engines power
engines'

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into the ships EPS lines.
ship's

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Since it is non-warp speed
sub-warp

Praetor wrote: View Post
In one such instance in 2273, the Starship Enterprise used this to its advantage, allowing time in the regular universe to pass faster to enable it to intercept the V'Ger intruder quickly.
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