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Old April 28 2009, 05:48 AM   #206
kitsune
Captain
 
Location: USS Lollipop
Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor wrote: View Post
U.S.S. Excelsior, NCC-2000
Technical Familiarization Resource
Why not Excelsior Class Technical Familiarization Resource?

Praetor wrote: View Post
Each unit was constructed separately as an independent module at San Francisco Fleet Yards on Earth and then gamma-welded together with the others in drydock in synchronus Earth orbit.
I think it would be difficult to lift the primary and secondary hulls into orbit if not under their own power.

Praetor wrote: View Post
The primary hull, or more popularly the “saucer section,”
or more popularly -> more commonly known as / also known as

Praetor wrote: View Post
is considered to be the main hull component.
primary == main, so these words don't really add anything

Praetor wrote: View Post
main crew accommodations
implying there are accommodations for a non-main crew?

Praetor wrote: View Post
food preparation and laundry systems
How about galleys and mess halls instead of food preparation systems? How about the ship's library, gymnasium, and recreational facilities, like the the bowling alley?

Praetor wrote: View Post
A spar extending aft along the longitudinal axis of the saucer section
What's a spar? I can't find a fitting definition.

Praetor wrote: View Post
upper intermix chamber, which extends downward to the deflector alcove in the secondary hull
to -> towards, maybe, since the lower chamber would actually be above or behind that alcove.

Praetor wrote: View Post
The interconnecting dorsal [...] its very chevron-shaped horizontal cross-sections
Chevron == V-shaped. The cross-sections are more like half of an ellipse.

Praetor wrote: View Post
perfectly curved ventral
Perfectly curved? Perhaps semi-circular?

Praetor wrote: View Post
It houses main engineering and primary warp power systems,
primary -> the primary

Praetor wrote: View Post
Primarily a hollow unit
unit -> volume / structure

Praetor wrote: View Post
the secondary hull houses Shuttlebay One and the Main Cargo Storage Facility, Shuttlebay Two mounted at the fantail atop the dorsal, and the twin fore and aft torpedo launchers.
the secondary hull houses Shuttlebay One, the Main Cargo Storage Facility, Shuttlebay Two (at the fantail on the dorsal plane), and three torpedo tubes (two fore, one aft).

Praetor wrote: View Post
The warp nacelle pylon assembly is composed of an elliptical hemisphere
elliptical hemisphere is an oxymoron. Semi-ellipsoid would be more technically correct, but it's awkward. I suggest elliptical dome instead.

Praetor wrote: View Post
mounting the twin warp nacelle struts.
from which the twin nacelle struts extend.

Praetor wrote: View Post
It is streamlined for greater warp performance.
Do you mean the physical shape is streamlined, or the inner workings are optimized?

Praetor wrote: View Post
the main high-gain subspace antenna
main -> primary

Praetor wrote: View Post
The bridge module originally equipped to the Excelsior
equipped to -> installed on / mated to

I like to think the Star Trek III bridge was an ejectable test bridge with its own propulsion system, like the one mentioned in the TNG-TM. Although it would be unfair for the bridge to eject in the event of a transwarp test failure, while those stuck in Engineering had nowhere to go...

Praetor wrote: View Post
They all mounted large inertial restraint arms that some crew nicknamed “bear arms,” so described because in transwarp flight these mssive arms
mssive -> massive

Praetor wrote: View Post
“Bear arm” chairs, however, heralded the end of physical seating restraints
Since when has Starfleet ever used seat restraints? Besides that one epsiode of TNG where the shuttle did a complete roll?

Well, maybe in Enterprise on a few occasions...

Praetor wrote: View Post
The upgraded Captain’s chair, and helm and nav consoles
Remove the comma

Praetor wrote: View Post
retain nearly the same locations
retain -> retained

Praetor wrote: View Post
A small table has been provided in front of the Captain’s chair for his convenience.
The only Starfleet ship bridge with a flat surface to set beverages down!
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