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Old April 21 2009, 08:54 PM   #191
kitsune
Captain
 
Location: USS Lollipop
Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor wrote: View Post
Okay, now for chapter eleven. It's short, and the last before we move to the technical text.
I just had a nap and dreampt that I met you in person.


Praetor wrote: View Post
They were left with a great number of damaged ships in varying states of operation.
operation -> repair

Praetor wrote: View Post
Many, including numerous Excelsiors, were damaged beyond repair. These were decommissioned and sent to surplus depots or disassembled
disassembled -> dismantled?

Praetor wrote: View Post
Ultimately, almost two hundred Excelsiors remained in service, most of them newer ships
them newer -> them being newer

Praetor wrote: View Post
delivering much needed humanitarian aid
much needed -> much-needed

Praetor wrote: View Post
The ship had been restored (at least cosmetically) to its 2290 state, although many modern systems were retained inobtrusively.
inobtrusively -> unobtrusively

Praetor wrote: View Post
Starfleet commissioned a new Sovereign-class starship U.S.S. Excelsior, both in commemoration of that particular ship's Starfleet service and in honor of all the Excelsior class ships that have served the Federation.
It seems odd to me for a class ship to not be the final use of its name.

Praetor wrote: View Post
not only Excelsior, but the 470 other ships of the class
470 -> 469?

Praetor wrote: View Post
Excelsiors gave hope to literally the thousands of worlds they visited
literally the -> the literally

Praetor wrote: View Post
As the 24th century draws to a close, the remaining Excelsiors still in service will be retired, committed to the history books, but their legend and the spirit of the men and women who served on them, boldly going where no one has gone before, will live on.
[/QUOTE]
books, but -> books--but

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