View Single Post
Old April 15 2009, 12:28 AM   #142
kitsune
Captain
 
Location: USS Lollipop
Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Praetor wrote: View Post
reached the doorstep of the Federations founding worlds.
Federations'

Praetor wrote: View Post
Even the destroyed Excelsiors proved valuable, as the Excelsior's modularity
Excelsior's modularity -> classes' modularity (or class' modularity?)

Praetor wrote: View Post
Two of the oldest Excelsiors in service continued to beat the odds; the U.S.S. Repulse and the U.S.S. Shras, both part of the original production group from the 2290s, served with distinction on the front, escaping destruction in battle after battle as newer, more capable ships fell around them.
I think that semicolon should be a colon.

Praetor wrote: View Post
By this time, over eight hundred Excelsior class ships remained in operation.
ships remained -> ships still remained
kitsune is offline   Reply With Quote