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Old March 29 2009, 06:29 PM   #9
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Re: Star Trek: Voyager - Dark Realm


Thanks, I'm glad my work improved. Regarding your first complaint, perhaps I should've been a bit more clear, Ayala was using a hand phaser, as this line suggests:

His phaser was off his hip and in his hand faster than he could think. He fired a blast on a high setting that sent the creature flying backward with a hole burned through its side.
I planned on writing Ayala as being very fast on the draw (I imagine such a skill being supremely important for any Maquis wishing to die in bed at a ripe old age).

Second grumble doesn't really count either, just this rather important away team is comprised of very junior crew. I'd have expected someone else apart from Paris to come along. However, for purposes of plot and to uphold the Lower Decks perspective we have to forego that detail. Also, that would be a complaint we'd normally have in Voyager, that it was the same away team personnel every time and a case of putting all eggs into the one basket.
Well, I'm glad your enjoying yourself. I'll keep up the writing and try to show more than tell and keep that good dialogue you like so much with my story.

Must commend you for Wildman and Telfer scene. The detail and 'science' behind their observations was great to read. It added to the atmosphere and the mystery behind the aliens plus it added to the stock of these characters. Excellent anyway. It's the type of scene detail I like.
I like Samantha Wildman and thought about including her in the away team, but decided against it. I figured she'd be more useful on Voyager for more study on the aliens and coming to more conclusions.

Thanks for your kind words,

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