^It's funny, you say "Selfless" doesn't portray men as demons as women as angels when, in fact, a female demon took the choice to murder a room full of men. I'm not defending the actions the men took to get there, but Anya made a choice, one that she was rapidly forgiven for.
You can only judge people by what they do, and she never hesitated to inflict suffering upon men because Judge Anyanka decided they were in the wrong. We never even got a decent explanation as to why she only went after men. The other Vengeance Demons didn't.