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Old March 24 2009, 08:46 PM   #27
sojourner
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Re: Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

HI,
Great writeup so far of my favorite ship class. Just one small comment. Chapter one, paragraph one, sentence five.

"her comparably shining safety record"

Doesn't ring true for me. It sounds like something an OSHA representative would say at the union meeting. The red shirts on board would probably laugh at the statement as well.

Maybe change it so something like:

"her knack for survival"

or

"her penchant for beating the odds"


Just a suggestion. thanks.
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