She is spot on on this point. He creates a romantic dinner because he chatted to her fucking hologram for crying out loud! Who the fuck would think that's okay?
It is weak writing that he doesn't know she is married; I assume the version of her on which the hologram was based hadn't yet married, but it is still silly that he did not check that. Aside from that, being chief engineer of a ship she designed, admiring her work, and knowing that she was an attractive woman, what exactly is wrong with having dinner with her?
As for "led to believe" about his chances with her, I don't understand what makes it pathetic that they might have had a mutual attraction but it wasn't pursued because she is married. He had already met a simulation of her, which is, in a way, much more in-depth that any examination of the personnel file could have been...except that a biographical detail wasn't mentioned because it is irrelevant to the situation at that time.
Two professionals in the same field, one with an established great respect for the work of the other, as well as an awareness that she is an attractive woman and even some awareness of what her personality is supposedly like...so what exactly is offensive about the idea they could have had something, but they wouldn't, because she's off the market? Are you pretending you wouldn't even consider the idea in Geordi's situation? And it isn't as if the episode doesn't show his attempt at moving too quickly with the romantic atmosphere as a misstep! You'd only see a problem with this if you're up your own ass with a bunch of phoney feminist BS, so stop internet white-knighting.