I understand the difficulties. I have one that I'm inevitably reminded of even though I make an effort not to dwell upon it: I'm lonely. I don't have anyone special to plan and share my Christmases with. Yes, I still have my parents and family and friends, but I would dearly love to have some romance in my Christmas. I suppose that is partly why I throw myself into projects around this time, to occupy myself and have something to be cheerful about.