View Single Post
Old November 1 2008, 03:48 PM   #6
TheLoneRedshirt's Avatar
Location: The void between my ears
Re: Challenge Entry - A Time of Terror

Had some difficulty following this. I suggest you separate lines of dialogue with a space - that makes for much easier reading.

At the core, you have a good story here. If you could provide a bit more background and do some editing, it would be helpful.
"You are beginning to damage my calm." - Jayne Cobb
TheLoneRedshirt is offline   Reply With Quote