As usually, I take this a different way.
Sorry, but Abrams is starting to sound like somebody running a political campaign rather than a movie director/producer.
Abrams: "We reached out to Shatner!"
Shatner: "Nobody reached out to me."
Abrams: "Well, when I say we reached out to you, I didn't mean literally. We did it... internally. Yeah, that's it. Internally. Didn't you feel it? We sure did."
Abrams' initial comments were overbroad and definitely seemed to imply a back-and-forth dialog with Shatner, although they did not go so far as to explicitly state that.
Shatner's subsequent response pretty much cleared it up.
I think both men are being sincere, here. It's just a matter of comments that can be interpreted a number of different ways.
I'm actually glad that the internet has made it possible for people to respond to this stuff instantly and directly, rather than reading some article where some guy with an agenda inserts his spin.
There's no agenda here, as far as I can tell.
Abrams wanted to include Shatner, but didn't want to do it in a lame way. Not finding a way to do that, they never even ran the lame version by Shatner. Shatner felt left out, but also expressly stated that he didn't want to do a cameo. Listening to Shatner's and Abrams' comments, it is clear that the two men have a great deal of respect for one another. It's refreshing.
The only real fighting, arguing, defending, begging, etc. going on here is inside the minds of the angry fanboys.