Chris, I was actually directing the living universe thing to Dayton3. I suppose mentioning who you're talking to is a good idea.
Also, I wouldn't be too ashamed of the sparks line. Sparks flying out of consoles is part of the Trek Canon, after all. Also, now that you mention it, I've never thought about how a person would go about depicting a space battle in a written medium. I'll have to use that as a creative writing exercises someday.
EDIT:
William Leisner wrote:
Sorry... she is cracking jokes and behaving with less than perfect decorum while on duty. She does, however, refrain from having sex on the bridge.
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Well, we've only read one book with her in it. Who knows what the future has in store?