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Old February 17 2008, 12:43 PM   #100
Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion
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Re: Let's Talk About Horror Fiction

Spaceman Spiff said:
Well, the problem for me wasn't the nudity, it's the fact that the story would just stop for five minutes while the girls stripped. Heck, they even used the "strip for a photoshoot on the beach" device twice.
Hmm. All I remember at this point is a "building suspense while the monster watches the photoshoot" scene. Anyway, it was that kind of a movie. I especially liked the pointless digression into a werewolf encounter, just so Eddie Munster could have a cameo.

But yeah, the attack ads were great. You know the outtake on the DVD that shows the monster getting a lapdance? They inserted a bit of it into one of the ads, with the voice-over saying "Do you really want to elect someone who patronizes such establishments?" Funny stuff.
Hah! That's inspired.

Which of the many guest stars do you mean? I guess that was kind of a problem for me, the way it crossed over with so many films. It gave it a bit of a fanfic feel.
True. I was talking about the robot. That was just hilarious. Come to think of it, perhaps Mr Winckler should produce the movie adaptation.

But now that you mention it, it did kind of read like a so-bad-it's-good movie. (Yeah, the ending was totally off-the-wall.
I just couldn't picture it as a Universal movie. The Children of Caine and the weird giant horse would have been impossible to achieve. Like I think I said, I was totally visualizing it as a Val Mayerik story in the old Monsters Unleashed. And I just loved the warm-and-fuzzy TV show aspect of the ending. Only the extras die. Our people are kidnapped and just about to be experimented on, but the villains miraculously don't have time. And the forest kids show up out of the blue with super-horse for a last-minute rescue. And then when the plot is over, everybody talks for five minutes and then gets in a cab, as if walking patchwork corpses are perfectly normal and everybody hasn't just had the most traumatic experience of their freaking lives. Whatshername goes off to the club for her dance shift after just being rescued from brain surgery. Very surreal.

Most of the prose was still pretty annoying, though. Like I said in that PM, I don't expect Shakespeare but, "[He] looked at myself and the monster." Come on. How do you have a twenty-year writing career and then type that out?
Did I mention Crisis On Infinite Earths? I've also noticed that in a couple of Peter David novels I've seen, and elsewhere. It really does seem that standards are falling in a disturbing way. I blame the editorial side, though, because these are obviously good writers; I just think that companies seem more willing to publish a rough draft rather than spending the time and money to polish and finish something.

Anyway, have you read the Mummy one yet? I only have the Mummy and Creature ones to go, and I'm kind of worried about the latter after reading some things about it.
I actually just read the first chapter, or prologue, of The Mummy. Too soon to make a judgment, although it was a bit confusing about whether it takes place in the present or the early 20th century. I suppose it will become clear soon enough. As for The Creature, yeah, it seems to be going too far afield in concept-- even moreso than Bride.

I just wish they had really gone for the Universal feel and made these books consistent sequels; one of the most disappointing aspects of this project is that they are mutually exclusive and contradictory. It's not the way I would have done it.
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