I concur with Gibraltar - the story is excellent so far. I like your writing style, it's vivid and descriptive. I also like the characters you've given us so far, and especially the interplay between Leone and Elannis. My only nitpick comes at the beginning - it's obviously meant to be a fast paced teaser, and the use of every character's full rank and names drags it down, if only for a second. Other than that, I give you an unreserved thumbs up.