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Old January 21 2008, 03:46 AM   #1
Samuel T. Cogley
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Location: Hold still, Jim.
Shatner as Kirk is Too Frakin' Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

EDIT: The thread title was edited (or soon will be) by a moderator. I'm not such a pansy that a little strong language makes me cry like a little girl (who probably watches "Voyager"). But whatever.

Okay, let's get to it.

No, this is NOT another "bring back Shatner" or "Shatner must be in this film" or "I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" thread.

We all know that Kirk (whenever the word Kirk is used in this thread, it is synonymous with Shatner) is an all around hero and badass. (If you disagree with this statement, please exit this thread quietly through your back arrow. No one ever needs know you were here.)

But I had forgotten how unbelievably kick-ass he is. I've been rewatching the films recently (and the occasional episode) and even in the shittiest stories, Kirk is just too fucking cool for school. **

Even when he's over-the-top outrageous, he still makes you want to say: "Kirk is the man!" **

You want to run right up to your computer screen (because your piece of shit DVD player crapped out on you in the middle of a an episode of "Oz" and you are forced to use the DVD player on your computer) and kiss Kirk right on the lips even though you are not gay. He is so fucking cool that he brings you right up to the line of straight and gay and makes you lift one leg over to the gay side of the line and get your big toe really close to touching the gay side but still keeping your other foot firmly planted on the straight side, and if your friends weren't around, you might even consider jumping all the way over to the gay side of the line for just a millisecond and then jumping back over to the straight side and then washing your feet in scalding hot water, just in case.

So again, I can live without Shatner is this film. That's all fine and good. But this Pine kid has seriously got his work cut out for him. He may play a decent character/hero, but he will never be able to nail that character the way Shatner did. And I'm not talking about an impression or imitation. I'm talking about the way "Shatner owns that character" (to borrow a phrase from Ronald D. Moore on the "Star Trek: Generations" commentary track).

Hell, maybe that's the reason they decided to focus on Spock and keep Kirk in the background on this one. Because they know that there's no way they could ever pull off starting with Kirk.

Even Orci -- in response to why they did not use Pine's voice in the audio for the teaser trailer (instead of Nimoy's) -- said that it would have been presumptous for them to use Pine's voice before he had proven himself to the audience.

Good luck, buddy. I'm sure you'll do an alright job. I've seen some of your other films. You are a good-looking, seemingly nice dude. But you have next to zero stage presence. This isn't meant to knock you, but you are going to have to take some serious intravenous charisma injections before you walk out onto that soundstage and pretend to be Kirk.

Good luck! :thumbsup:

** Anyone who disagrees that Shatner/Kirk is the ultimate badass and can never be duplicated is either a sissy girl or insanely jealous of him.

Edit: Capt. Janeway would disapprove of swearing. All forum participants will soon be issued WWJD bracelets and be required to wear them before being allowed entrance to the Trek XI forum.
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