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Smellincoffee March 23 2014 05:15 AM

DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Thanks to all who participated last week! Hard to pick favorites as always, but that's the job.
This is either a passably witty play on words or a butchered misspelling, take your pick. :p


Nerys Myk wrote: (Post 9345466)


Triskelion wrote: (Post 9355087)

Bashir: So Nog listens for the beer man, Sisko barks nonsense at sportscasters, Kira knuckles her balls, and what do I do again?
O'Brien: You explain to Worf that he can't actually kill the ump.
Bashir: Even when it's honorable?
O'Brien: Even when it's honorable.


Candlelight wrote: (Post 9384817)


JirinPanthosa wrote: (Post 9344548)
SLOANE: Careful Doctor. You're about to ruin my unnecessarily complicated plot which relies on several unrelated things going exactly the way I expect them to in a busy place with dozens of unpredictable random elements.
BASHIR: You're alive how?


Finn wrote: (Post 9340771)

Nana Visitor: (OS) Damn it! She wins. I can't believe Marc haven't noticed he doesn't have his Cardassian makeup two hours after playing the Voyager drinking game.



LeadHead wrote: (Post 9345883)

Sisko: Report. Spare no details.

Bashir: Your Chief of Operations has a tummyache.

This week's theme: No Small Roles, with a concentration on minor characters! This may run short, depending on participation, because I'm playing with the idea of a special one for the start of April. We're bearing down on the 100th contest, so the countdown begins; each contest will have a focus on one character or a set. I think I'm borrowing the idea from the TNG contest. :p

Now, miner characters!

Okay, folks, the contest will run for at least one week. :)

Bad Thoughts March 23 2014 06:30 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Jake: Stop staring, Rom. This is getting a bit Oedipal.
Eddington, singing: Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of angry men?...
Sisko: Please tell me you actually read the book, not just the musical.

Candlelight March 23 2014 09:12 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

Nog's explosive diarrhea was about to literally land him in Odo's office.

"Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong."

"You sunk my battleship"

"You asked me to fix your helm console and I've found your problem. Main display had moisture damage. Looks like a coffee stain."
"Oh... er..."

shivkala March 23 2014 03:36 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

Dukat: Now, I need to zoom in, but to do so, I need to enter the "cheat" code, now what was it again? Oh, yes, "up, up, down, down, left, left, right, right, b, a"

Seconds before falling...

Nog: Nonsense, Jake, Ferengi ears have enlarged ear drums making for better balance than you hoo-mons, see...woah!

Quark: So, this is a time before hoo-mons moved to a non-monetary based economy? Rom, Nog, we're staying right here. Now, how'd you like to be the first hoo-mon to own his own moon?

♪♫He's a pin ball wizard
There has got to be a twist.
A pin ball wizard,
S'got such a supple wrist.♪♫

Eddington: You know, Ben, you keep bending like that you're no longer going to be Javert, you'll be more like Quasimodo.

Sisko: Hugo-t to be kidding me.

Eddington: Victor-y shall be mine!

JirinPanthosa March 23 2014 03:55 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

IRA STEPHEN BEHR: I have a lock on the actress playing Ziyal.
RON MOORE: Fire. With that actress the stories we have planned for her would be far too creepy.

JAKE: Resist the urge to kick the chair over. Resist the urge to kick the chair over. Oh, screw it, it's just far too good! (Kick)

QUARK: So you're telling me, 20th century Earth is just like Ferenginar, only with FEWER regulatory laws?!

WEYOUN: I've analyzed their attack pattern. Still I can't understand how they managed to take us by surprise.
DAMAR: They attacked from above. You know space is 3d right?
FOUNDER: *sigh* "First, prepare to activate the next Weyoun clone."

SISKO: You know I watched Les Miserables last week. Russell Crowe was great.
EDDINGTON: You're dead to me.

Bad Thoughts March 23 2014 05:40 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

Bashir, offscreen: Sigh!
Garak, offscreen: What's the matter, doctor, are the subtitles too difficult to read?
Bashir, offscreen: Not at all. It's just that this film is a bit creepy.
Garak, offscreen: My good doctor, "The Unending Occupation" is the finest example of the repetitive epic in film form.
Bashir, offscreen: Garak, it's just generations of Bajoran and half-Bajoran women being sent to labor camps where they toil, lose the men they love, until they submit to the authority of the "benevolent" camp commander.
Garak, offscreen: Stirring, isn't it. I find this young woman especially ravishing.
Bashir, offscreen: Oh, please! You're a crusty old man, and she's barely a teenager.
Garak, offscreen: Spare me your federation values.

Smellincoffee March 26 2014 01:28 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Jake: Is your uncle really trying to flirt with Kira?
Nog: He lost a bet. Or he's trying to win one.
Eddingington: And if you press this button, the console - EXPLODES IN YOUR FACE!
(The console explodes in his face.)
Sisko, sipping raktajino: That must have hurt. What was the plan, exactly?
Eddington: were supposed to have been sitting here.
Weyoun: We've received another communique from this Dr. Horrible person.
Changeling: Ignore it. The Dominion is no 'evil league of evil'.
Weyoun, droning: Certainly not! You in your wisdom have created in it the most beneficent-
Damar, thinking: That 'Freeze Ray' might keep certain mouthy shapeshifters in their place..

Nebusj March 26 2014 05:51 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
``These Bajorans have not learned very well how not to be seen.''
``Nog! Don't sit like that, you'll fall over and lose a leg!''
``Oh, like that ever really happens!''
Quark is fan-struck on finally meeting Cookie from Beetle Bailey.
``Yes! Yes! Keep at it! Our forces are demolishing them!''
``Um … this is the cocktail table edition of Galaga.''
``Well, okeydoke, Cap'n Sisko sir, let me just whip up a little composition on my trusty piano keyboard here.''

anthony_lynch15 March 27 2014 04:27 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Dukat: My god, it's some sort of prison camp. The Breen are a truly barbaric race!
Kira: Are you kidding me right now?
Jake: Call me "hewman" one more time.
Quark: An authentic pre-federation hewman hat, do you know how much I could get for one of these back home?
Weyoun: Is that a smudge?
Damar: I'm sure it's nothi......
Founder: The Dominion will not tolerate uncleanliness!
Sisko: Plot a course to the Badlands.
Eddington: Whatever you say Javert!
Sisko: Tell me Mr Eddington, have you read the scene where Javert slammed Jean Valjean's face in to the console?
Eddington: ....

Mistral March 30 2014 12:40 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

Bad Thoughts wrote: (Post 9392602)

"Give me one ping, please."

Finn March 30 2014 03:34 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Thanks for the win!

Odo: *through the link* so they haven't noticed the console is actually me?

Female changeling: *through the link* No…

Bad Thoughts March 30 2014 06:09 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
Female Changeling: Gentlemen, it is time to leave.
Dukat: We can't leave until Weyoun and I have all the high scores. That will remind Sisko that we vow to retake the station ... again.
Weyoun: Multiball!

Mr. Laser Beam March 30 2014 09:31 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

Bajoran Press Your Luck contestant (offscreen): "Big bucks! Big bucks! NOOOOO Pah-wraiths!"

Nerys Myk April 1 2014 04:27 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles

NOG: Yep, it's all about the uniform. Changes everything, Jake. The ladies will be lining up. Any second now hot and cold running women. Have to beat them off with a stick. Gonna be swimming in ladies....

Triskelion April 1 2014 05:47 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 90: No Small Roles
TFTW Smellincoffee! :bolian::rommie:

Kira: Ze death camp, once eet casts eets spell, holds one in eets net of wonder forever.
Worf: Enough with the Jacque Cousteau bit!
Kira: Ze happiness of ze war bébé eez to exist....

Jake: Check it out. The dabo girls are completely clothed.
Nog: <Looks>
Jake: Dumbass.

Nog: Think of all he could do - invent the internet, predict the stock market for the next three hundred years, or prevent World War III with some well-placed phaser technology.
Quark: - and I'm telling you, they're gonna want to cancel Firefly! You must NOT allow it! Fans will be pissed!

Damar: And have we decided what we want to drink yet?
Weyoun: Something with an umbrella in it.
Founder: Weyoun....
Weyoun: I'm sorry, for a minute there I thought I was an adult man allowed to choose his own drink.
Damar: Wife?
Weyoun: Alien shapeshifter bent on galactic domination. So, you're not far off.

Sisko: "Our disaster recovery plan is this: help help"? Are you sure that's Les Misérables?
Eddington: Yes - there's Javert, and there's his dog, Dogbert.

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