The Trek BBS

The Trek BBS (
-   Deep Space Nine (
-   -   DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause (

Ln X December 27 2013 04:04 PM

DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
I hope you all enjoyed the last caption contest, and since this is the festive season there will be a few extra winners. For those who didn't win; blame the Grinch.


Finngle Bells wrote: (Post 9036881)

Captain's Log: Julian is missing and the Chief was found passed out in Quark's bar with a Terran Tiger sitting close by. I don't know how I'll tell Admiral Ross about this.


TresKings wrote: (Post 9041449)

Kira: Has anyone seen Odo? I want to report the laundry service, they've shrunk my uniform again.
Kira's Uniform: Tee hee!


The Laughing Vulcan wrote: (Post 9050617)

Sisko "Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A little eggnog... a fuckin' Christmas tree... a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can!"


JirinPanthosa wrote: (Post 9037715)

O'Brien was looking forward to the Jem'Hadar USO show, until he realized it was nothing but a guy listing all the ways to kill humans while worshipping the Founders.


Frankincense + Myrrh wrote: (Post 9039151)

Gowron: " ... and if you like your holographic doctor, you can keep your holographic doctor, period."


Rķu rķu, chķu wrote: (Post 9050911)

Gowron: Welcome to Kronos Shopping Network. Our first item for sale is this combination floor buffer and sex toy. For when you want glory to you....AND your hoooooouuuuuuuse!

The multi-caption winners (and I picked this one purely because it has my favourite LOTR urak-hai line);


shivkala wrote: (Post 9055876)

Avro Arrow wrote: (Post 9037895)

Dax: It was really nice of the Jem'Hadar to invite us over to their mess hall for dinner.

O'Brien: Agreed. I'm famished. Computer, what's on the menu for tonight?

Computer: Today's specials are Trill, human and Changeling.

Jem'Hadar: Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

Finally -- in the name of festive spirit -- here are a couple of honourable runner-up captions worthy of the Celestial Temple.


Mistral wrote: (Post 9054472)

TresKings wrote: (Post 9050824)

Kira: So how do you like my breast reduction surgery?
<space crickets>

Dax: Um, Kira-you're supposed to reduce the size, not the height of their location.


Mistral wrote: (Post 9054481)

Gowron: "The crisis is over. The Romulans have turned their transports around. The other guy blinked. I, of course, am physically incapable of such an action."


North Pole Myk wrote: (Post 9037343)

O'BRIEN: "What happens on Risa stays on Risa" is the slogan, right?

RISAN: Nope, it's "What happens on Risa goes viral."

O'BRIEN: Keiko's gonna kill me.




And now, MOAR pictures for captioning!

Good luck and enjoy the remainder of the holidays!

Ln X December 27 2013 04:12 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Garak: You know this is probably the only time a Cardassian and a Founder will dine together.
Weyoun: DO NOT harm The Sisko's son!
Jem'Hadar 1: The Sisko? That sounds like a God.
Jem'Hadar 2: Which is blasphemy! The only Gods are the Founders.
Weyoun: Oh crap.
Bashir: Now Worf, I know you don't like role-playing and I know you like Cardassians even less, but you WILL enjoy yourself. Captain's orders.
Sisko: No Dax, I don't need another one of you humorous anecdotes right now!

Sisko: You may hate each other's guts but at least keep this civil before the war- I mean after the mission.

Bad Thoughts December 27 2013 04:23 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Odo: I can nurse this coffee for hours while I use the cafe's wi-fi and stare at the baristas.

Nerys Myk December 28 2013 02:09 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

BASHIR: I'm quite sure I said black formal wear. We aren't waiters!

ODO: Actually, the coffee and the cup are also me.

JAKE: What about freedom of the press? The people have questions and they need answers!

WEYOUN: You're free to pick up a list of approved questions and their answers at the Information Center on deck three.

JirinPanthosa December 28 2013 12:34 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

ODO: So I've taken to pretending to drink my own plasma. I'm sure it'll make you solids less uncomfortable around me.

GEM'HADAR: How did you know about Agent Willie Mays?!

BASHIR: Dax is in this? Computer, is this program based on the theatrical cut of the movie, or the unrated cut?
COMPUTER: Theatrical cut.
BASHIR: Damn it.

MICHAEL DORN: Damn. I used to think MY makeup was bad.

shivkala December 28 2013 04:29 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Thanks for the win!

Odo: I can literally eat myself!

Garak: Enabrain Tain said there'd be days like this.

Jake: Okay, we'll put "Dear Abby" back into the Federation News. Who knew the Jem'Hadar enjoyed reading her advice?

Bashir: White? After Labor Day?!

Sisko: Look, Dax, when I asked, "Are you ladies going down on me?" it was a Freudian Slip, really!

Worf: I just don't know how to quit you.

Triskelion December 28 2013 06:17 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
^ Oh that's just so wrong.... :rommie:

Garak: Please don't do the sausage and eggs bit.

bbjeg December 28 2013 06:58 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Odo: Really, a bib? It's simple, the food and drink goes in your mouth.
Garak: I may be neat when I'm at work but during meals I make no promises.

Odo: I excrete myself into this cup and then drink it.
Garak: I'm going to find another seat.
Weyoun: Stand down. I think I can take him.
Sisko: I know you're into militant women but can you cut back on the flirting. You're harassing Kira.
Sisko: It's not the size of the ridge that matters, it's how you use it.

Bad Thoughts December 28 2013 07:28 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Worf: I will pop you like I popped that wind dancer from Parallax colony.

Mr. Laser Beam December 29 2013 05:57 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Sisko: Whichever one of you blinks first, has to eat a five course meal cooked by Keiko.

Jem'Hadar: ...I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead.

Worf: Veggie loaf has no honor!

Odo: They replaced the fine coffee the Replimat normally serves with Federation Folgers Crystals! :barf:

Weyoun: You see, Jake? We know more about human customs than you think. For instance, I believe this is your ancient custom of Kung Fu Fighting. Pretty convincing, aren't we?

Triskelion December 29 2013 03:40 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Jem'Hadar: Victory is life.
Worf: It is a good day to die.
Sisko: It's reeeeeeeal!
Sisko: What?

Garak: It is just amazing.
Odo: My drink trick?
Garak: That Kira doesn't drop you like a horta turd.
Odo: I know, right?

Weyoun: Jake, remember what Han Solo told C3PO when he was beating a Wookie at 3D chess?
Jake: Mesa getten berry, berry scared?
Weyoun: You are dead to me.

Mr. Laser Beam December 29 2013 04:38 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Weyoun: Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let's not be hasty! I'm sure Jake had no idea he insulted you just now.
Jake: You mean when I said "Your heads resemble diseased concrete"?

Bad Thoughts December 29 2013 05:16 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause
Sisko: Dax, you cannot threatened to use your Bat'leth to make extra holes for Bajoran earings.
Dax: She's been whistling "Dude Looks Like A Lady" around me all day.
Kira: If that's a problem, I'll switch to "Polythene Pam."

Ancient Mariner December 29 2013 06:15 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Seven hours, thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds: The precise moment when Sisko realized how foolish he was to volunteer as a referee the in the Inter-Quandrant Staring Contest Finals.

LeadHead December 29 2013 08:11 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Odo:.. And since the cup and the coffee are only extensions of myself, I can make the coffee be Starbucks and not pay way too much for it...

Weyoun: Stop! I'm sorry, Mister Sisko, the Jem'Hadar take offense at the suggestion that their weapons are modified props from the second season.

Siddig: Sorry they didn't choose you to be the "Bond" of the episode Michael, but you've gotta admit that "Bashir, Julian Bashir" sounds better than "Mogh, Worf son of Mogh."

Sisko: Ops.

Kira: Weapons Locker.

Dax: Promenede.

Sisko: (thinking) I need to stop getting into turbolifts with these two.

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:36 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.