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The Illusive Man October 28 2013 03:38 AM

TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw
Hello everyone, lets get to the winners!

First up to the plate, we have the "Many Bothans were sent to the disintegration machines to gather this information" Award, going to:


Maurice wrote: (Post 8707423)

EMINIAN LACKEY: There's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

Next, we have the "User Error" Award, going to:


Geoff Peterson wrote: (Post 8764558)

UHURA: Did someone just launch all of our photon torpedoes?

Next, we have the "Proper Analysis" Award, going to:


Alpha_Geek wrote: (Post 8708365)
Captain, you are correct. This is not rich Corinthian leather.

Next, we have the "Diplomatic Incident waiting to happen" Award, going to:


George Steinbrenner wrote: (Post 8707615)

Kirk: Ambassador Gaga, we've been ordered to escort you to Starbase 47...

Next, we have the "AKA: the Lets not try to kill the people around us section" Award, going to:


Jonas Grumby wrote: (Post 8707426)

Anon: "Excuse me, gentlemen, can you help us? We're looking for the non-smoking section."

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


huskers57 wrote: (Post 8744917)


Mistral wrote: (Post 8743492)

Scotty: "Doctor, you've got to stop tapping the cargo bay door release!"

Uhura (to yeoman) :"Didn't we have a crew stacking supplies in there?"

Many thanks to everyone who participated! Congrats to our winners!

And now, in honor of Halloween coming up this week, Trek's Halloween episode!


The Illusive Man October 28 2013 03:44 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Kirk: What are they saying Lieutenant?

Uhura: They say that we're 200 light years outside of their delivery area.

Kirk: Options, Mister Spock?

Spock: I am afraid we will be forced to eat frozen pizza for dinner tonight.

Kirk: Why can't we ever go anywhere nice?

Scotty: I know it was you who drank my Aldeberan Whiskey!

Shatner: So why are we calling McCoy "Doc" and not "Bones" this episode... oh, right.

Spock: Captain, when I said the shuttlecraft was right on top of us, I was not exaggerating.

Jonas Grumby October 28 2013 04:00 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw
TFTW, Evil Lincoln!

Kirk: "Look on the bright side, Mr. Spock. If we'd ended up in here a few months earlier, it'd probably be pretty ripe in here."

Zombie Cheerleader October 28 2013 04:09 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

SPOCK: Why do I feel I'm in a Hair Club For Men commercial?

SHATNER: Jimmy. George. Let's not be hasty. I'm sure we can throw a few more lines your way

KIRK: Disconnected?

UHURA: Sorry, that's what the recording said sir.

KIRK: I wish I had his metabolism

KIRK: That's the second biggest pussy I've ever seen.

Avro Arrow October 28 2013 04:44 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

In the original timeline, Kirk took one look at the new "Lens Flare Generators" and had them ordered off the ship.

Kirk: I'd still hit that.

Corellian Corvette October 28 2013 05:36 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Kirk: Bones?

Spock: He's dead, Jim.

ATOMICROAR October 28 2013 06:53 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Spock: That ship is swerving into our lane.
Kirk: Um, HELLOOOO?!!!
Uhura: Check out this motherf*cker.
Spock: Fascinating.

Kirk: What is it Spock? A volcano? A lava flow?
Spock: An al-anon meeting.
Bones: Beam me up, Scotty.
Kirk: Ha, catchy.

Kirk: You said there would be girls at your birthday party?
Spock: This is a total sausage fest.
Scotty: They'll be here.
Bones: That's what you said last year.

Kirk: Come here often?
Spock: Oh here we go.

Kirk: Why is that pizza on the roof?
Walter White: I got high on my own supply.
Spockface: Never get high on your own supply.

Maurice October 28 2013 07:44 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw
Thanks for the win!
UHURA: I'm detecting a signal from the planet Preplanis.
KIRK: On audio, Lieutenant.
DR. SMITH'S VOICE: What "I" have done? Now you listen to me, you ungrateful wretch. You will erase that from your memory banks. He must never know we were responsible.
KIRK: No intelligent life there.
SPOCK: Indeed.
KIRK: Where's the candy? You said this planet was Halloween.
SPOCK: The word was "harrowing".
KIRK: Okay, fine, you can wear a blue shirt when we meet the murderous natives. Now put the phaser away.
KIRK: I heard Droxine was thin, but really, Spock...
KIRK: Look at the size of that thing.
SPOCK: The Great Bird of the Galaxy's droppings are, indeed, impressive.

Jonas Grumby October 28 2013 06:53 PM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Scotty: "Just a moment! How do I know you're the real captain? Queen to queen's level 3!"
Kirk: "Oh, Christ, not again."
McCoy: "That encounter with those shapeshifters did a real mindf**k on him, Jim."

Zombie Cheerleader October 29 2013 12:08 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

KIRK: There's a bunch of lights and scaffolding up there!

Jonas Grumby October 29 2013 12:18 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Shatner: "My God! Is that my Corvette suspended up there?!"
Nimoy: "Payback's a bitch, Bill."

2takesfrakes October 29 2013 12:40 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

"Scotty ... Sulu ... listen to reason. Listen to me: STAR TREK's like a car, with me,
your Captain, as the driver, with Spock and Bones in the front seat and you two as
the backseat drivers! You should be thanking us - because this way, you at least
have jobs! Nobody's going to want to watch the Scotty/Sulu Hour! Come on, fellas."

2takesfrakes October 29 2013 12:47 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

"OK, Spock ... let us know when you've zipped your fly."

Avro Arrow October 29 2013 01:54 AM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

In this rare scene from the never-completed sequel to The Enemy Within, Kirk confronts his ego.

Noname Given October 29 2013 08:08 PM

Re: TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw
The atmosphere of planet Cannabis420 was having an intoxicating effect on the entire landing party. Kirk also had a major case of 'the munchies'.

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