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Ln X September 9 2013 07:27 PM

DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves
After destroying O'Brien several times in the last contest we now move on to the next bout of captioning, and forgive me as I indulge in a bit of Onion-esque humour.


R. Star wrote: (Post 8596588)

Evek: Chief O'brien, you're charged with--
O'brien: Let me guess. Fabricated charges of smuggling? Torture? A show trial? My wife testifying against me?
Evek: No... you're speeding. Please don't pass warp 5 while traveling through Cardassian space.


jazzstick wrote: (Post 8607442)

Look Molly, it's a rounded chunk of Muppet Flesh from Henson V!


Nerys Myk wrote: (Post 8595553)

O'BRIEN: I'm naked, on a cold floor and feel like I've been hit by a truck. Must be Tuesday.


Bry_Sinclair wrote: (Post 8602189)
O'Brien getting through one month without suffering any woes was reason for didn't happen very often though.


JirinPanthosa wrote: (Post 8594845)

O'BRIEN: Is that...Keiko dancing naked?
BASHIR: Sorry. That's from MY subconscious.


bbjeg wrote: (Post 8598232)
O'Brien: One of these days I'm going to beat Scotty's drinking record.

The tag caption award goes to the following:


Gil T.Azell wrote: (Post 8605171)

JirinPanthosa wrote: (Post 8594845)

O'BRIEN: On the bright side, this is the least terrible thing that's ever happened to me..

OS Hears the snap of Rubber gloves
O'BRIEN: "Oh bloody hell"

Congratulations to the winners, in the time you spent captioning you could have read the Principia, discovered the secrets of Zen or made amends to your significant other.




And now as requested by your dozens of desperate daily emails here are five more pictures to keep you happy!

You know the drill!

Ln X September 9 2013 07:37 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Worf: The captain has dishonoured me by his actions!
Quark: So what you going to do about it? Cut out his heart and eat it or some of that Klingon claptrap?

Sisko: The Prophets spoke to me.
Kasidy: What did they say?
Sisko: Beware of women seeking your hand in marriage and allies who are enemies in disguise.
Kasidy: Anyone in particular?
Sisko: ...

Kira: Weyoun, you even give me one leery look and I will smash those bulbous ears of yours!

Jadzia: Have you had a little nip and tuck to get rid of that baby weight?
Kira: <speechless>

Quark: What do you mean I have to abide by 'Omertà'?

Finn September 9 2013 10:43 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Bashir: *OS, as a groggy Sisko wakes up* There. Your Renal exam went well

Candlelight September 10 2013 12:30 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Quark: "Worf, you forgot your hairbrush."

"I had a dream I was traveling through time. I went back to the Khitomer conference of 2293..."
"That's nonsense."
"Admiral Cartright is correct, that's silly."
"I see your point but- wait, Admiral who?"

"Yes, I can also pick up satellite television."
"I wasn't going to-"
"Come on, lets get them all out in the open. 'Is that Dumbo I see flying past'?"

Kira: "What was that?"
Jadzia: "My hand."
Kira: "No, I thought I heard something."

Quark: "Rule of Acquisition #69; cardigans are nifty"

JirinPanthosa September 10 2013 01:07 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

WORF: Do you smell that Quark? It's the scent of frightened prey!
QUARK: I think that's just me.

CASSIDY: Now that that's finally over, we can move on with our lives and not deal with all this Prophet stuff anymore. Right Ben?

WEYOUN: You must tell me one day, Major Kira, what it is like to bang a God.

DAX: Hey, have you ever thought of abusing your relationship with Shakaar to get special privileges, like rare vintage Bajoran wines and stuff?
KIRA: No, of course not! Now on an unrelated topic...I have to go...wash my hair.

QUARK: Next time you slap me on the wrist can we go without the smug Odo justice speech?
SISKO: Only if next time we reference Earth we can go without the smug 'Earth history is way more savage than the Ferengi' speech.
QUARK: Okay. Everybody gets to make speeches.

R. Star September 10 2013 01:09 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves
Thanks for the win!

Worf: So I know nothing of Klingon women...
Quark: Which is funny being I've been in the pants of more Klingons than you have.

Sisko: I see dead people!
Joesph: I wish people would stop confusing me with that Cartwright person...

Weyoun: You have been found guilty of terrorism. The death sentence will be suspended however, if you pay the Founder Odo daily... conjugal visits.

Dax: So... the religious icon Bareil, the leader of Bajor Shakaar, and now a member of the ruling caste of the Dominion... you do love powerful men.
Kira: I would never fall for Dukat.
Dax: I was talking about Odo.

Quark: You know Commander, your Ferderation legal system makes this too easy. This fascist has never read me my rights or gotten me a lawyer. Why do you think I'm back without any legal hassle every week?

jazzstick September 10 2013 01:10 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves
Thanks for the Winning™!!!!

Worf: You are lucky we are not on Kronos Ferengi!
Quark: Why's that?
Worf: I would enact the Qu'Cho!
Quark:What's that?
Dax: That's where the man presents the testicales of his love's former suitors to her as a gift of courtship.

Kasidy: Hey honey wake up! Doctor Bashier got that bowel obstruction out!

Sisko: You're never cooking again!

My eyes are up here Weyoun!

Momentarly forgetting she was no longer a man, Dax slapped Kira playfully on the ass while making kissing sounds...

Sisko: Quark, this is absoulutly the last time you try to run a Rub and Tug in the sickbay!

Quark: I'm sorry captain, I didn't know that Pah'Lowzian was a man, I couldn't tell!!!

Sisko: Neither could I!

Otto(Mumbling): If that's what you have to tell yourself...

Sisko: What was that Constable?

Otto: I'll have him in front of the magistrate first thing in the morning Captain!

Sisko: Alright then!

Nerys Myk September 10 2013 04:34 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

WORF: Cosplay is with out honor!

QUARK: I didn't do it. I was off the station. I can get signed affidavits saying so.

SISKO: You really need to wait till I say something before denying it.

KIRA: I'm winning the most attractive female contest.

DAX: Not if you combine my votes with Ezri's.

Triskelion September 10 2013 06:34 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Jadzia: Getting residual vibes from Counselor Troi again Worf?
Worf: Commander Riker has grown...a goatee.

I had the strangest dream. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there.

Was there a Tin Man?

Yes, and he kept saying "Gomtuu, we're friggin' lost."

This is my jam right here!
Oh? What is this song?
I Ran (a Cardassian Labor Camp) by A Flock of Guls.

Sometimes I have more spots than normal down there.

Quark: You're the Fashion Police, too??

Sisko: Surprised?

Quark: Yes, from the look of things I thought you didn't have a branch in this sector. And you guys really need an internal affairs department.

Odo: I've been saying it for ages.

Ln X September 10 2013 10:24 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Nerys Myk wrote: (Post 8623891)

KIRA: I'm winning the most attractive female contest.

DAX: Not if you combine my votes with Ezri's.

Kira: Who is this Ezri?

bbjeg September 10 2013 09:08 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves
Sisko: Not another Prophet vision! You guys aren't even trying, Jake should be even more disappointing, Joseph should be more useless, and Kasidy should be bitch-ier.
Kasidy: We're not visions.
Weyoun: Odo said to kill myself? We pledge our loyalty to the Founders, from now until death.
Kira: (Works every time.)
Dax: I mean I was a guy a few times.
Kira: It's still gay.
Quark: Like you wouldn't have used a Romulans death to your gain.

Triskelion September 10 2013 09:17 PM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Dax: Do you like innies or outies?
Kira: None of your business.
Dax: That's good, keep your options open. Or in my case, kill two birds with one stone.

shivkala September 13 2013 05:21 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Quark: What's he doing?

Dax: If I didn't know better, I'd swear...oh no, he's doing it. He's launching into a monologue.

Quark: I never thought I'd say this, but I wish he'd just kill me now and spare me the agony.

Dax: You and me both, Quark. You and me both.

Sisko: Just five more minutes! I was having the best dream about Jennifer. There we were, covered in honey, licking each other...

Jake: Dad, stop! I don't need to know about your sexcapades with mom!

Kassidy: Seriously, Ben, I've got to compete with a dead woman.

Joseph: Both of you, shut up! This is the first story he's told that might not put me to sleep!

Weyoun: I must admit, you are a worthy opponent, Major, but face facts, the Founders in their infinite wisdom made the Vorta with the ability to go days without blinking. It's only a matter of time before I win this staring contest.

Dax: So, what do you say? You, me, Quark's, just like we used to do.

Kira: I don't know, I've got an early shift tomorrow and I was hoping to spend time with Odo. Why don't you go with Worf?

Dax: Because the last time I did, the only thing we drank was prune juice.

Kira: Well, that explains why you spent half your shift in the head last week!

Quark: You know, Commander, I could sue the entire Federation for racial profiling and denying me my freedom of religion.

Odo: Harumph. Racial profiling!

Quark: It's true, every time there's a crime, Odo always comes to accuse me first.

Odo: Because it's always you committing the crimes.

Quark: And, another thing, to me, money is my religion. Denying me the opportunity to earn money and therefore follow the tenants of my religion is religious discrimination!

Odo: You have got to be kidding me!

Sisko: Sadly, Constable, he's got a strong argument against us keeping him locked up in that cell.

Odo: At least let me keep him detained until his hearing!

Quark: Was that a knock against my ears! Commander, I demand to add a charge of racism to my previous complaints.

Sisko: Sorry constable, I'm going to have to ask you to release Quark and refrain from comments that reference his ears.

Quark: Damn, this is too easy, I should have thought of this years ago!

Nerys Myk September 13 2013 08:04 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

KIRA: Next time we shouldn't wait till the last minute to find Halloween costumes.

R. Star September 13 2013 08:08 AM

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves
I don't know why, but that photoshop is just creepy. :p

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