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Ln X July 11 2013 10:32 PM

VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
As promised here is the next contest!


BirdInJetstream wrote: (Post 8266246)
Tuvok: "Fascinating! I already tried 47 different algorithms to solve the problem. None of them were successful. How did you do it?"
Janeway: "See that little switch? I had Torres install it before your shift started. Press it 5 seconds, shut down, reboot..."


LeadHead wrote: (Post 8270326)

Seven: Computations are complete, Captain. It is mathematically impossible that Ensign Kim will ever make Lieutenant.


JirinPanthosa wrote: (Post 8261059)

TOM: You can never tell Sam that Naomi broke into my liquor stash.
SEVEN: Where are you taking her?
TOM: To sickbay. After the Doctor cures her hangover I need you to erase his memory of it.
SEVEN: I'm not sure you've thought all this through.


FFunctionalData wrote: (Post 8327125)
Seven of 9: We are experiencing a malfunction in the Warp Core

B'Elanna: I have run every diagnostic and can not find the problem

Chakotay: Captain I believe if I go on a vision quest i can find out what is wrong let me get my..

Captain Janeway: Chakotay not every problem we encounter can be solved with a vision quest.


Triskelion wrote: (Post 8262391)

Paris: How do you make a Bajoran stew?
Kims: I don't know?
Paris: Tell her the Occupation was a myth.

And the special award...


ncc71877 wrote: (Post 8266762)

Seven: "With all respect to the Commander, I don't see how getting high and trying to talk to an imaginary goat will solve anything."

Congratulations to the winners: old-timers, newcomers and captioning veterans!

I was high on oven-cleaner when I picked these pictures...

Have fun!

Ln X July 11 2013 10:39 PM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
Neelix: You know I came back to this store thinking of nothing but your beautiful-
Talli: Melons?
Tuvok: May I ask how we can trust the supposedly cartographic maps from a holographic projection of a man from the 16th century?

What really pissed off Chakotay was noticing that this alien was wearing his best uniform...
Doctor: How's your sex life?
Seven: No comment.
Da Vinci: What is that yellow stuff?
Janeway: Duct tape! One of the most practical things in the universe!

NAHTMMM July 11 2013 10:57 PM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
"And here is where I designed a warp sleigh capable of bringing your ship fifty tons of coal."
"You people let who become the ship's cook?!"

JirinPanthosa July 12 2013 05:06 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Neelix: It's perfect. This fruit looks really healthy and really disgusting.
Talli: You really like messing with your crew don't you?

Tuvok: You made yourself an apprentice to Leonardo Davinci?
Janeway: He's a brilliant inventor.
Tuvok: Whatever you say, Mary Sue.

Alien: Thank you for the offer of this manservant, but he's a little dull. I can't keep him around the house.;;'

Doctor: Your hormone levels suggest physical attraction to multiple male members of the crew.
Seven: That's none of your business.
Doctor: May I suggest you practice on an artificial male? I'd be happy to volunteer.

Davinci: There's something that's been bugging me. In the 15th century, women should not be educated enough to help me build a flying machine. I should not accept you as an assistant.
Janeway: It's my fantasy, I can make you act however I want.
Davinci: ...So you only like me as part of some wish fulfillment thing of yours.
Janeway: Just shut up and be Davinci.
Davinci: Yes maam.

Triskelion July 12 2013 05:13 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Talli: Want me to teach you how tell a fresh melon just by squeezing it?

Neelix: No thanks, I have a tricorder.

Tuvok: Captain, it has been three days and he still has not said that he 'must draw you.' May I suggest you slut it up.

Alien: Sorry, the role of Chewy has already been filled.

Seven: Doctor if you try any harder not to look at my breasts you'll short circuit.

DaVinci: Yes yes, flying machine, blah blah blah. Come take a look at my next marvel of the modern age: the hydrostatic tight turning yard tractor with 46 inch cutting deck and optional mulcher.

Nerys Myk July 12 2013 05:24 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

TUVOK: Why is Gimli here?

Triskelion July 14 2013 06:34 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Alien: No offense, but - what's the deal with your Captain's breath?
Chakotay: We do not speak of this.
Paris: We just surround her with holograms whenever possible.
Alien: Is it some kind of weaponized gas vapor?
Paris: No, but you might be interested in Neelix's La Fiesta Burrito Night.

Tosk July 14 2013 07:23 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
It was the first time she had ever been complemented on her beautiful
orange melons and realized he actually meant the fruit.

Triskelion July 14 2013 07:30 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

EMH: Ah here's your problem. Your cortical node is full of porn algorithms.

Captain Kathryn July 17 2013 06:27 PM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
Triskelion, I love your captions. :lol:

Triskelion July 18 2013 06:45 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
Very glad to hear it Captain Kathryn!

Nerys Myk July 18 2013 06:48 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

SEVEN: Are you going to complete the scan?

EMH: Sorry, I was distracted by my reflection on the tricorder screen.

Finn July 24 2013 02:36 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Robbie: You are gonna be the redshirt of the episode..

Nobody: But you both are wearing red too

Beltran: Cute, isn't he. I love those guest actors, Robbie

bbjeg July 24 2013 05:48 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
DaVinci: Essatto Catarina!
Janeway: Maraviglioso!
Tuvok: Good work Captain.
DaVinci: Noob.
Paris: ...then he drank B'elanna hidden bottle of bloodwine.
Alien: I'm your captain and I order you to PISS OFF!
Doctor: So Kes says, 'It's me or the Borg.'
Seven: What did you do?
Doctor: I destabilized her at the subatomic level.
Janeway: I just can't understand how someone of your era can come up with the things you do.
DaVinci: I don't expect you to, you're a woman.

Captain Kathryn July 29 2013 01:02 AM

Re: VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements
Neelix: May I squeeze your melons?
Talli: Sorry, I'm not into furries.
Neelix: Dammit.
Tuvok: Is this bearded hologram what humans call a "Santa Claus"?
Da Vinci: I can hear you, ear-boy!
Janeway: Tuvok! This is Leonardo Da Vinci, a great artist and inventor from the 15th Century.
Tuvok: Then it is logical to assume that his knowledge is extremely outdated.
Da Vinci: I know someone who's getting coal this Christmas...
Tuvok: Computer, delete the Santa.
Alien: Ok, can have the uniform back on one condition. I get to keep this man as my personal slave.
Chakotay: Errrr...I don't think...
Tom: It's a deal!
Seven: Doctor, how is staring at my breasts relevant to conducting your scans?
EMH: Your breasts are always relevant.
Janeway: My security officer thinks you're a Santa.
Da Vinci: Ho, ho, ho! I's absurd.
Janeway: This plane sucks.
Da Vinci: Have no fear, Caterina! My magical flying reindeer will arrive within the hour.

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