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-   -   Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? (http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=202747)

Kenbushway February 7 2013 01:54 AM

Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
I am not trying to start a religious debate but I saw an interesting topic and thought it would be good to see if anyone had insight.
Question is the thread title, can a religious and non- religious relationship work whether it be marriage or just dating? I don't mean to open old wounds for anyone, but does anyone have experience and insight they are willing to share? Can it work, if so what is the secret to success? Does it depend on the individual?

J. Allen February 7 2013 01:58 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Yes, it can work, depending on the religion. If it's a Buddhist and an atheist, that could work. A fundamentalist Christian and an anti-theist, that very likely wouldn't work, though there is still a chance that it could.

teacake February 7 2013 02:05 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
It depends on each person being able to be happy for the other person having beliefs that work for them and not desiring to change the other person.

It's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is sucked in/believes nonsense. And it's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is going to hell.

More fraught issues come up if you have children.

Kirby February 7 2013 02:05 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Just like any relationship, it CAN work if the two people want to make it work. I grew up in a household that only went to church on Christmas and Easter, and my wife grew up in a Catholic family.
After I proposed to her, I decided that I would support her and go to church with her (mainly because I had an uncle who just refused to go to church with my aunt, and he was a real dick about it. Obviously that marriage ended in divorce). Never once did she insist, or even suggest that I go with her.
I did convert to Catholicism in 1998, and have no issues with it.

Deranged Nasat February 7 2013 02:11 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Of course it can. Although sometimes it won't. The question really being asked here is simply, "Can two people with worldviews that differ in some way have a successful relationship?" And of course, that's not really a very helpful question, because it depends on how divergent those worldviews are, how strongly each maintains their worldview, how important it is to them that others share their perspectives on certain issues, etc, etc. I don't see how religion is different from any other major lifestyle preference or aspect of identity. Any prospective relationship, people will be judging how compatible they are and if they feel comfortable wrapping their life around the other's in intimate fashion.

thestrangequark February 7 2013 02:22 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
I'm sure it can, though I'm just as certain that it wouldn't work for me. I'm a little ashamed of that fact, actually. I have a lot of religious friends, whom I love and respect entirely, but I just think my worldview is too different from that of the religious to maintain a relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling now.

Avon February 7 2013 02:24 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
my friends ex boyfriend started out normal then got increasingly hardcore religious. he didn't seem to realise that hell isn't a threat if you don't believe in it. luckily she told him to fuck off. i think he was arrested for possession of child porn later on. but he was a scumbag and not representative of religious people in general.

doesn't really help answer the question does it?

MacLeod February 7 2013 02:32 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
It could work, though both parties have to accept the others views.

Kenbushway February 7 2013 02:34 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Quote:

junxon wrote: (Post 7650346)
my friends ex boyfriend started out normal then got increasingly hardcore religious. he didn't seem to realise that hell isn't a threat if you don't believe in it. luckily she told him to fuck off. i think he was arrested for possession of child porn later on. but he was a scumbag and not representative of religious people in general.

doesn't really help answer the question does it?

I think its a good answer, you gave an example of how at first it may have been working fine but as one became self-ish in the relationship that is when it ended. So that tells us that when someone tries to force in these kind of relationships it could end bad.

Peach Wookiee February 7 2013 02:38 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
I think it can work depending on the people involved. But you, the couple, have to discuss some big issues, should it become serious.

Mr. Laser Beam February 7 2013 02:48 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Yes.

teacake February 7 2013 02:53 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Quote:

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: (Post 7650412)
Yes.

Dude, where's your qualifiers?

auntiehill February 7 2013 02:56 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
Quote:

thestrangequark wrote: (Post 7650337)
I'm sure it can, though I'm just as certain that it wouldn't work for me. I'm a little ashamed of that fact, actually. I have a lot of religious friends, whom I love and respect entirely, but I just think my worldview is too different from that of the religious to maintain a relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling now.

My sentiments exactly. Of it is very possible that it could work; I just happen to know it would never work in MY particular case. My best pal is rather religious and we get along extremely well and it's never really even been an issue. But my worldview is too different from that of a religious person for me to really feel "secure" in a romantic relationship. My husband and I are both atheists and therefore tend to look at the world in the same way regarding many, many issues.

Use of Time February 7 2013 02:57 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
It gets real fun if you decide to bring kids into it. I've seen that get nasty real quick.

Nerys Myk February 7 2013 03:16 AM

Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?
 
It hasn't worked for me, but that's just me.


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