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Kenbushway January 29 2013 06:46 AM

Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
I was in a discussion on Huffington Post were I was debating that spanking was a valid punishment, at least when its not done to excess because than it can become abuse. I was spanked myself, I certainly think its works if done right; teaches right and wrong effectively. I was told what I did wrong and how I can avoid it next time along with my spanking.
So I am wondering is there any parents that practice it anymore?
Is it pretty much thought of as abuse now?

trekkiedane January 29 2013 07:12 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Not a parent myself, but my sister and my best friend are...

Yes, violence against children -be it physical or emotional- is considered abuse these days! -No wonder we turned out how we did... back then it was OK to hit your kids or yell at them :sigh:

Deckerd January 29 2013 09:48 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Hitting defenceless children isn't an answer to anything. I didn't hit mine and she's fine.

The only time I did was when she was about 15 and she was talking to me while I was watching something on TV so I wasn't paying attention. She got angry and kicked me hard on the shin. I don't think she meant to do it that hard but any way I stood up and slapped her face. That's the sorry story of violence in our house.

Tosk January 29 2013 10:00 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Quote:

Deckerd wrote: (Post 7608454)
The only time I did was when she was about 15 and she was talking to me while I was watching something on TV so I wasn't paying attention. She got angry and kicked me hard on the shin. I don't think she meant to do it that hard but any way I stood up and slapped her face. That's the sorry story of violence in our house.

Out of curiosity, do you consider yourself a better parent than those who spank? (I assume so, considering your wording of your first sentence.)

The reason I ask is because you hit your child in the face out of anger, and my father spanked my bottom as punishment but he never did it angry.

Deckerd January 29 2013 11:09 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
I slapped her face to make sure she didn't go round kicking people. There's a difference. I often got very angry with her but we have a brain for a reason and if you use it properly you can always outsmart a child, simply because they don't have your experience.

Tosk January 29 2013 11:12 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Quote:

Deckerd wrote: (Post 7608592)
I slapped her face to make sure she didn't go round kicking people. There's a difference.

I got spanked to teach me not to do something again. (The main one I remember was for playing with matches.) What is the difference you speak of?

Deckerd January 29 2013 11:15 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
You implied that I only lashed out at her because I was angry.

Miss Chicken January 29 2013 11:23 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
I only spanked my children when they did something dangerous and they were too young to reason with.

For example, early one morning I woke up to the sound of water running. I quickly got and went to investigate, saw that water was flowiing out from the bathroom. I went in and found that my second son (the intellectually disabled one) was in the bath with both taps turned on. After pulling him out of the bath and turning the taps off I slapped him hard three or four times on the back of the legs as he could have drowned or scalded himself.

When the children were older I tended to make them stand in the corner if they misbehaved. i even did it once in a cafe when my eldest son played up and a couple of other diners and the cafe owner thanked me for it.


PS - I didn't vote because I think that spanking is very occasionally a valid frm of punishment but generally speaking it isn't.

Tosk January 29 2013 11:32 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Quote:

Deckerd wrote: (Post 7608604)
You implied that I only lashed out at her because I was angry.

You're right. I mistook the mention of her anger for yours, and I apologize.

But is there a difference between my father hitting my bottom and you hitting her face?

Deckerd January 29 2013 11:35 AM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Only inasmuch as she was as big as I was, so the balance was a lot more even. She could have decked me if that was her intent. As it was she was completely shocked, which was my intention. I didn't actually hurt her. I'm way too much of a wuss.

Pingfah January 29 2013 12:11 PM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
I was spanked as a child, but not excessively, just when I did things like run out into the road. I don't specifically remember it happening, but my parents tell me it did.

By far the worst spanking I ever had was off a teacher though, even though I was only 6 (so 30 years ago) I remember it very well because it was extremely hard and hurt a lot, it was the only time a teacher had ever hit me before or since, and I had actually not done the thing I was being spanked for.

I did tell my parents, but they didn't believe that a teacher would smack me without being certain I had done what they thought I had. :lol:

I am not a parent, so I won't vote.

maclaus January 29 2013 12:11 PM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
Quote:

Miss Chicken wrote: (Post 7608625)
I only spanked my children when they did something dangerous and they were too young to reason with.

Same here. My kids got a smack on the butt if they were in danger of running into traffic or anything along those lines. The short, sharp shock made sure they learned their lesson. I perfected The Voice and The Stare early on, and they usually did the trick.

Bigjoe January 29 2013 02:28 PM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
I've smacked my Children, but only as a last resort. Felt guilty as hell afterwards.

My Mother did the same to me and it bloody worked. My behaviour soon improved.

1001001 January 29 2013 02:53 PM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
We have two children (18 and 10). I never spanked either one. I don't believe in it.

There are lots of reasons for this, but ultimately I think if you have to hit a child to get them to do what you want, they've outsmarted you.

Deckerd January 29 2013 03:13 PM

Re: Question for the Parents on TrekBBS
 
BTW full marks Kenb for an excellent thread topic.


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