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fieend February 14 2012 04:23 AM

The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Deep Space Nine was, for my money, the best of the Star Trek series. This show went deeper and further than any other one had before, and any would thereafter, and the writers produced many compelling storylines with top-notch acting.

They didn’t hit the bullseye with every single one, however. These are the twelve worst episodes of DS9.

12. Valiant
6th season

This episode probably would not make most peoples’ lists, but it made mine.

During the Dominion War, an elite group of snotty cadets were in command of a Federation starship, which was behind enemy lines collecting information. Then, because they’re awesome, they think they can destroy a Jem’Hadar warship. As it turns out, the answer was no, they could not.

Don’t get me wrong: the story was fine. My problem with this episode is that the characters were such obnoxious smartasses that I wanted to jump through my TV and punch every single one of them in the face. I felt no connection to them at all – only to Jake, who was pretty much the only sane person aboard. The captain was a pompous ass, the first officer was a smug bitch on wheels (or, more aptly, a bitch on impulse engines), and the rest thought they were just great.

Yeah, the ship blew up at the end, but by the time it did, I had already spent most of the episode not liking a majority of the characters.

Click here to read my other 11 picks

Sykonee February 14 2012 04:52 AM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Meridian not #1? Your list is invalid.:p

HaventGotALife February 14 2012 05:55 AM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
The Storyteller and the Muse are not that bad. I think you undersold Second Sight and Meriden. Move Along Home is that bad episode you watch just to make fun of Trek. I agree with number one.

heary February 14 2012 08:31 AM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
I agree with number one. http://acmili.info/g.gif

greenguy February 14 2012 09:56 AM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Profit and Lace is one of my top ten ST episodes of all time. I don't know what it is, but I find the episode to be hysterical, with one laugh after another; I never understood the huge amount of flak it got especially with episodes like Meridian and Move Along Home in the mix.

Navaros February 14 2012 01:39 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Quote:

fieend wrote: (Post 5816131)

No thanks. Why don't you just post them in this thread?

As for the episodes talked about in this thread, Meridian is 10/10 if one fast forwards all the Jadzia-related scenes without watching them. Granted, the episode would have been better if there was no Jadzia story in it (the same holds true for just any about any other Jadzia story). But due to Meridian's first class B-story, no way is it anywhere near one of DS9's worst.

About Valiant: Yes, the Valiant punks are annoying for the entire episode. That is what makes the ending so fulfilling. The ending turns Valiant is a great episode. Valiant is certainly nowhere near the worst of DS9 either.

Paul Weaver February 14 2012 02:28 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Agree with Navaros with the link.

Valiant is a wonderful episode because (amongst other things) it shows Nog isn't infallible. He's good, but he's green, and (also touched on with Homefront/Paradise Lost) lets hero-worship take over his better judgement.

I wonder if he'd have chosen the same actions post AR558?

Tosk February 14 2012 03:02 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Quote:

Navaros wrote: (Post 5817748)
Quote:

fieend wrote: (Post 5816131)

No thanks. Why don't you just post them in this thread?

My thought exactly. :)

Sean_McCormick February 14 2012 05:15 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
Only one of the dreaded Ferengi comedies in this list. That does not sound right. ;)

sonak February 14 2012 05:22 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
I can't come up with 12 off the top of my head, but "Meridian," "LHWIWS," "the Muse," "Profit and Lace" would be on the list.

Seven of Five February 14 2012 06:14 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
There are some definite stinkers on that list. I think I like Valiant more than a lot of people seem to here - perhaps enough to keep it off a 'worst of' list. I would throw in Ferengi Love Songs and The Emporer's New Cloak as well.

greenguy February 14 2012 07:18 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
I thought Valiant was good, it just seemed to try to "punch" a little too hard, if that makes sense; it was ST's Children's Crusade episode. It was very dramatic and I'd have liked it better if the focus was primarily on Nog and not him and Jake (annoying).

BlueStuff February 14 2012 07:42 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
I hope the OP won't be offended if I copy and paste the list here for viewer convenience:

Quote:

12. Valiant
6th season

This episode probably would not make most peoples’ lists, but it made mine.

During the Dominion War, an elite group of snotty cadets were in command of a Federation starship, which was behind enemy lines collecting information. Then, because they’re awesome, they think they can destroy a Jem’Hadar warship. As it turns out, the answer was no, they could not.

Don’t get me wrong: the story was fine. My problem with this episode is that the characters were such obnoxious smartasses that I wanted to jump through my TV and punch every single one of them in the face. I felt no connection to them at all – only to Jake, who was pretty much the only sane person aboard. The captain was a pompous ass, the first officer was a smug bitch on wheels (or, more aptly, a bitch on impulse engines), and the rest thought they were just great.

Yeah, the ship blew up at the end, but by the time it did, I had already spent most of the episode not liking a majority of the characters.


11. Melora
2nd season

Nobody likes a complainer; the DS9 writers didn’t get the memo.

An ensign named Melora comes to the station with a “disability” – her planet is low-gravity, and by going to Starfleet, she has to adapt to a much higher pull, which makes it virtually impossible for her to walk. She is stuck in a wheelchair and lashes out at everybody, but it becomes this depressing, cliché-laden story about accepting people who are different and being at peace with yourself. Yawn.


10. Q-Less
1st season

First seasons of Star Trek shows often aren’t any good, and Deep Space Nine, despite being the best incarnation of the franchise, was no exception. Here, we have a completely pointless, stupid episode featuring Q.

The story wasn’t entertaining, and the purpose of the episode seemed to be “let’s get Q in there.” The problem is that there was nothing memorable about it, and it felt more annoying than Q’s appearances usually are. Boring.


9. Profit and Lace
6th season

Admittedly, when I first saw this episode lo those many years ago, I didn’t mind it. Granted, it’s been years since I’ve seen it, but it’s here because (1) it hasn’t exactly grown on me and (2) reviews of the episode have generally been awful. Many consider it to be one of the worst of the series, so it should be on this list.

If you wanted to see what Quark looked like with boobs, then this episode is for you. I’ll have to warn you, though: if you’ve not seen it, it may give you nightmares, but there are “happy pills” you can take for that.


8. Meridian
3rd season

Take a planet which is phasing in and out of normal space-time, remerging once every half-century or so, and let the Defiant encounter it. They beam down and Dax meets some dude with whom she falls in love and wants to end her career to be with him. In the end, she can’t, because she can’t shift into their dimension, and she returns to Starfleet disappointed and unsexed.

Dax was remarkably out of character in this episode. Her character had been established as one who recognized duty and was a wise old sage; here, she opts to dump Starfleet and go to another dimension to be with a guy she just met. Right.

All this episode amounted to was a crappy love story which made no sense.


7. Let He Who Is Without Sin…
5th season

Worf, Dax, and others are set to enjoy a vacation on the warm, sunny, and loosely-moral planet Risa, they meet a band of fundamentalists who are on a crusade against said lack of values. Not only has it corrupted the planet, they claim, but it has also corrupted the Federation. To achieve their ends and make sure nobody enjoys themselves, they sabotage the weather suppression system so it’s boring and rainy.

This episode did two key things wrong; the first is that it was a yawner. The second is that it ended up being preachy and yet somehow completely missed the mark. The whole concept was executed poorly.


6. Fascination
3rd season

Sometimes, Star Trek does comedy well. This was one of the times where it didn’t.

Lwaxana Troi (groan) comes to Deep Space Nine with a fever. Well, two fevers: one is for Odo’s gooey, amorphous manhood, and the second is an alien disease which makes her project her feelings onto other people telepathically. As a result, everyone who even comes close to her starts acting like a horny teenager.

There’s nothing wrong with doing a light episode – if it’s good. This wasn’t.


5. The Muse
4th season

Meet Jake Sisko, writer. Meet Onaya, a strange broad who likes “working” with artists – and by that we mean sucking out the creative energies of the brain like a parasite.

For a while, nobody seems to notice that a weird space cougar is hanging around Sisko all the time, but then again, they’re distracted by Lwaxana Troi (groan), who is somehow pregnant at her age and marries Odo.

This episode was very creepy, as was the alien woman.


4. Second Sight
2nd season

A mysterious woman with strange hair starts coming onto Ben Sisko; viewer boredom ensues.

This woman, Fenna, just happens to show up on Deep Space Nine right around the anniversary of Sisko’s wife’s death, and what a surprise, they fall in love quickly.

Here we have a slow, contrived, Sisko’s-got-a-girlfriend episode which damn near put me to sleep, but then we find out that his new squeeze is a telepathic psychoprojection by some guy’s wife. Don’t worry if you’re lost; you’re not missing much, anyway.


3. The Storyteller
1st season

Imagine Miles O’Brien as the spiritual leader of a village, and his main job is to ward off evil cloud monsters. He takes over the job – more like is thrust into the job – when their former leader kicks the bucket before he could vanquish the beast.

Yeah.

This episode almost reminds me of a sitcom (except it was much more depressing): O’Brien beams down to the planet, gets stuck in a crazy situation, has to work his way out of it, and it’s happily ever after.

I’m pretty sure Captain Kirk would have just hit it with a few photon torpedoes and called it an episode.


2. If Wishes Were Horses
1st season

When Rumplestiltskin is making appearances on Star Trek, you know you’ve got a seriously bad episode.

Kind of like one of the worst TOS episodes, Shore Leave, whatever the crew of Deep Space Nine imagines becomes reality. The difference is that in this one, what is being “imagined” are actually alien life forms, and everything they’ve cooked up, including a spatial rupture which threatened to destroy the station, was their doing.

I tried wishing that the episode would end, but it didn’t work. Where were those mysterious aliens when I needed them most? Buncha lazy sons of bitches.


1. 1. Move Along Home
1st season

ALLAMARAINE! (loud cheers)

Sisko, Dax, Kira, and all the rest become pieces in a game, but not just any game – a deadly game!

A species called the Wadi visit Deep Space Nine, and they’re all about playing games. Quark gets pissed off at them for winning so much, rigs the dabo wheel, and to get back at him/teach him a lesson, they make the cast pieces in a life-sized game. Any false move he makes could kill them all, or so he believes.

Kira does hop scotch, people die, a rock falls on Dax – and then, just when we think they’re all hopelessly screwed, the game ends and everyone is safe. Finally, in a complete cop-out by the writers, the Wadi representative says “it’s only a game!” and you realize you just wasted an hour of your life on the most inane, pointless, and eye roll-worthy episode this show ever produced.

This one had it all, with poor writing and childish rhymes included.


TiberiusMaximus February 14 2012 08:49 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
I agree with most of this list.

But why did you put "disability" in quotation marks when discussing Melora? They're unnecessary and actually come across as a little insulting to be perfectly honest.

DS9 Gal AZ February 14 2012 09:18 PM

Re: The 12 Worst Star Trek: DS9 Episodes Ever
 
"Move Along Home" is number 1, no question.


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