The secret life of Travis Mayweather

What did Travis get up to when he wasn't on screen?

The answer could be exciting: he held notorious late-night parties in his quarters and shagged anything that would stand still long enough.

Or boring: he re-alphabetised his button collection.

Suggestions?

 

I picture him sitting in his cabin alone. Staring at the wall. A blank wall. Waiting.

 

Both of these are actually more interesting than Travis ever was on the show.

 

Upside down.

 

^ Reminds me of the classic "Chuck Norris is so tough" joke - He doesn't sleep, he waits.

 

Mayweather was secretly Future Guy.

 

Now that would have been a cool surprise. Kind of like Ward being Hydra on Agents of Shield.

 

Or they could have just made him a bit of an asshat. He is supposed to have more space experience than anyone else in the crew. They could have made more of that. But no, he had to be Nice. And not even nervy kind-of-annoying nice like Hoshi.

Maybe he was a robot, or an undercover alien?

 

Travis should have been the Section 31 guy. I would have preferred S31 being limited to DS9, and always thought Malcolm was one of the more interesting characters. Didn't care for them making him a S31 agent, liked him better as just a mysterious guy. But Travis would have made sense, with his deep space experience and contacts within the private sector. And Anthony might have gotten some good scenes. But really disliked Section 31 being presented as existing before TOS.

 

Secretly, he's the evil mastermind with the dastardly plot. It's always the one you least suspect.

 

Who's the one who left a bag of burning poop outside the captain's door?
[Guiltily raises hand]
Oh, Travis.

Wah wah waaaaaah

 

that's a waste of good poop...we recycle EVERYTHING

 

Court martialed for wasting poop.

"That poop's not yours to waste. That poop belongs to everyone!"

 

^And then Travis lives out the rest of his days in his Father's attic forever known as Poop-bagger.

The End

 

I figure he was sitting on the ceiling, masturbating furiously.

 

^

Oh, Travis.

 

Mayweather writes fanfic of the crew's own adventures while off-duty.

He gives himself at least five lines of dialogue in every story.

 

^^ "I'm not angry with you, Travis, I'm just very disappointed."

And even then, most of his lines are "Aye, sir" and "Adjusting course."